Now the men!! The summation.

I get hit on a lot by men and while compiling a list of 15 women that has amazed me!! I always though that it was mostly guys that were interested. Now I'm having a hard time remembering any of them but let me see.

Guy #1
Was in Manchester on canal street. I was mistaken for a rent boy and almost fell backwards in to the canal!!

Guy #2
For a short period of time I use to hang around with goths and used to pick up weed there. The EU had recently added Poland or something does that make sence? Anyway this Polish guy tried to pick me up.

Guy #3
A guy offered to buy me a drink in a bar? He said no strings? Maybe he was serious like me. Cause I do that and women don't believe me.

Guy #4

Another guy in a bar buys me a drink. It so happens it was a gay bar. What was I doing in a gay bar? What are you my mother? I prefer the music there.

Guy #5
I was at a nightclub in York and I remember this guy that insisted I was gay. Same goes for Guy #6.

Guy #7

The fat guy in mexico!! I got free crisps!!


Guy#8
I'm running out of memories ummmm oh the guy in the pie shop. I got free coffee!! Its mostly a great way to get free things. I shouldn't be taking advantage.

Guy #9
That guy in NSW...what an ugly fat pig. totally took advantage of me but fortunatly i know that a very breif back scrub is the limit. Walsing in the fucking bathroom while I was showering. What a dick!!
Guy 10

Ok now I don't actually know for sure but thank fuck its gotta be the last guy. I actually really liked him...as a person and oh no he's not the last. I couldn't figure him out though. I met him when he was drunk and I didn't know if he was gay cause he really seemed gay and took a special interest in me and this other guy from Austin and I wanted to keep in touch with them both cause then I found that he was dating all these women.

Fortunatly I can add another women to the list. She worked at the same place. Same pathetic story of being way too shy and stuff. I really liked her and I really did wanna get to know her but I was such a twat and was really scared of fucking it up. I have now also remebered Carolina, She was a colombian goddess and I was going to enter in to an arranged marraige with her. I never heard back from her about that. Oh well.

Ok so after calculating all my love interested airgo people interested in me since I have been on the scene ha ha . it totals........

21 women +-  woman.

so thats 27 people since I was about 18. OH OH OH. I mean 28 cause i can add a really seedy internet affair I had with this women on the internet (I saw her on cam she was definatly a women) I forget her name. Oh crap I suppose I have to include another Irishka!! She was a russian girl and we work on jasminlive together. 29 people!! Ok so this is interesting. I had noooo idea I would be able to come up with OMG GOD DAMN IT GEMMA!! I think thats that!! I am sooo sooo sure that I have an acurate record now Gemma Wilkinson from high school. I reeeeallly liked her she was sooo nice and OMG the othr girl in the petrol station makes it an uneven 31. She did ask me out. 31 women I could include Hannah from Cafe Rouge but she was dating paul and she just said that she liked me and I didn't know how. Another girl who worked there complemented my hair. My measure is girls that I know for sure I could have been with. OK I have added up to 21 women and have corrected that at the top.


This was very pointless!!
















.

revised comprehensive list of lost women.

I was on the bus the other day somewhat bored until I decided to go through in my mind my relationship with women so far. Oh dear..... so I decided to make a list just in case I should have a severe brain injury and forget. As I can't remember any names of random hookers and I guess I don't mean relationships it seems that my lovr life has sucked. This is the list of women I encountered and my complete and honest reasoning of why they failed.

Girl 1 (name forgotten)

After getting completley drunk at some night club in york I met this girl and I went to her place and well it happens to every guy!!

Girl 2 ( Its probably in a past blog)
This blonde 30 year old dragged me in to market stall in the early hours one morning but i wasn't really interested at yhe time and wanted to get to know her. Never to be seen again!!

Girl 3 Jasmin!!
Probably the hottest woman ever aand I made a huge play . Not proud of myself cause I played lots of mind games cause I thought maybe thats what I had to do. Supposidly she wused to be a model for playboy never confirmed if that was true and she was married with a kid. She was also 30 and as time came around she came my way but i didn't take it further not sure I had a reason. Despite all the arm stroking Ifelt nothing but she thought I was scared .
Girl 4 ( I think was girl 3 .. natasha? wild guess)
I'm not sure about this one but well I met her in a club and genuinley had decided that I didn't give a shit anymore but she seemed to be in to me and liked the whole thing about me speaking spanish and flying planes and being british. Meh.

Girl 5 Mable !!

Fuck the order but she was after jasmin. I made a song for her name to remeber it based on the jewish honika song mable mable mable I met you yesterday etc. She was very pretty and I was really in the mood to talk and she showed me her breasts in a cafe. She was actually in a wheelchair but I thought well if I really like her and like talking to her then i really valued that. I didn't fancy her none of them I liked that much they were all aside from girl 1 higly attractive. IShe had a lot of issues and the main reason why I liked her turned out to be an illusion. She couldn't get away faster ansd I dont wanna talk about how badly I fucked that up.

Girl 6 +7 (Who knows)
Since I'm revising the list some other random women in a bar. I would have asked her out (girl 6) but was too much of a pussy. (I was too much). I would have been interested in her in theory and for about half an hour we flirted from across the room but often all that happens in my head is a lot of naturalistic stuff to say that finds its way past my paralimbic system and then I'm screwed...or not. Girl 7 asked if she could buy me a drink but I was 18 and I just froze.

Girl 8 from woolworths

Same story of apathy and fear, but I think she was maybe only 15...didn't feel right I guess.

Between them all I'm missing some and my order is all screwed up.

Girl 9 Hazel

Hazel thinks your cute!! I never got to find out who hazel was and I was struggling to care at the time I did wander the beach in search for hazel but because my responce was thanks Hazel!! When it came to me finding out I suppose I became invisible or something like that.

Girl 10 Charlie

I think it was around the time I was trying to do this being honest thing I mean more how I feel instead of it being an ego thing and I I got talking to Charlie and maybee I might talk to her again, Im sure she's still here. Don't know when she's going back to hong kong. We met at Mcdonalds and talked about why even asian animals are small. I think emotionally i was a wreck (earlier this year). Another girl who did the arm stroking thing. Maybee if i accept that all relationships end and I'm bored of the rest of this sentance. If the talking bit is easy and I don't know what aside from marijuanna are the factors but i think not caring was what i was going for a lot of the time in the hopes of caring ARGGHHHH the irony. don't care = talking =potential relationship.

I'm bored and frankly embarressed at writing this nonsence espeicially when I think of 3 other girls that liked me and how shitty I handled it.  More amusing is men that hit on me!! So I shall make a list of that later.

The Crab

What is it with Asians? They never know where anything is and they insist on cash only as they don't pay tax. Its just an accurate observation and happens to be true like last week I asked at a sushi place and they failed to direct me to the newsagent that was directly opposite them.

I arrived back late the other night and tried to order chinese. CASH ONLY!! Oh for fuck sake.....do you know where theres an AT.........nevermind. So I went next door and I was really out of it. Its a $15 minimum and was handed what I thought was a menu of things that were so. I ordered the crab but they wouldn't let me pay for it until they .....I wasn't listening......anyway. They return to asking me to pay a bill for $150. This is the worlds most expensive crab and it makes no sence the sea is half an hour away at most. For 10 minutes we discussed how on one hand they had killed it and on the other I couldn't afford it. They dropped it to $100 but I insisted still that I CAN'T AFFORD IT!! At most I have right now is $30.......I explained. I'll give you my passport and pay the rest of on Monday. Deal? I know I know you killed it already. I'm sorry but thats not something we do.... they finally understood that I could only afford $30 so they agreed to give me half the crab and then the other half on Monday. She handed me a receipt. DECLINED. She hadn't noticed and I luckily supressed the tell well enough. Well I saved myself $30 so far. Suppose I'll have to leave my passport and still pay $70 next week. So I waited a while.... getting nervous... could see them looking in the till..... I hope thats not the receipt draw I'm too tired for acting. My crab finally came and I couldn't hear a word she was saying.... something about $30. The end of the story is they gave me the whole thing and said don't worry about the other 70 and that the 30 I had paid was all that was needed. So I walked right out having stolen the worlds most expensive crab. Nightmare to try and eat despite the size of the thing it had very little meat and was mostly legs and claws.

Another Ghost In My Bed, Whaaat a Cuaaaant!!

So I moved in to a luxury apartment complex. Private double room with ensuite, air-conditioning, private phone line and internet. The complex has a gym, resturant and 70 foot pool accompanied by a spa..... but i don't like chlorine although I'm happy at times to use the spa cause I like the bubbles. There is a lounge area but I don't watch it really cause me and 2 others have our own lounge/dining area and kitchen, everything is fully furnished. I very almost made the mistake of moving in with the wrong person. I was very much in space cadet mode and the weight of the world had worn away any will I had to do anything, I was ready to sign anything and nearly moved in to a total shit hole, a budget student place where the tiny rooms with bare brick walls resembled cells. In fact if they were built "ensuite" they'd be identical. But my Dad rescued me and sent me on to this place where I inspected as far as I could see 4 identical flats. One had a fish tank with a large tropical fish covered and weighed down with books. Apparently it had tried to nemo it breaking the glass.... I think it was a suicide attempt after life time of hearing an annoying queenslanders accent. I do remember it having a bad vibe but at the time I felt like the fish and supposed they were all the same. "I'll go with the fish guy". Then I met him. WHAT A DICK!! An ugly sun burnt wrinkly red neck smoking in the lounge in a uv vest while fixing an engine. His stuff was everywhere and his greeting to me was. "Ma sheeela kicked me out and naah aaaa'm ere." "We have loud parties and smoke where the faaack we waaaant and wot goes on in this 'ouse staaaaaaaaays in this 'ouse. GOT IT? She tried to change me but aaam an aaaussie and she's a cuaaannt" So I did my very best to move to the nice clean one without getting him kicked out but I asked my Dad for advice to do it with tact and he made some calls before I could say anything and managment told me they were evicting him. I didn't tell the guy so it was quiete amusing to hear this voice echoing through my bathroom window while showering. "The low life caaant it kickin me oooouuuuuut." Oh and then last night I had a very strange experience when I was woken in to a paralised state by another fucking ghost jumped over me in to my bed. Some curly haired boy leaped on to the left side and the force of it nearly threw me out of bed. I tried to say "Who the fuck are you and what are you doing? I know your real this time!!" but as soon as I could unfreeze and use my mouth and turn over no-one was there. Spoookey.  

I had a terrible dream the other night..........

Probably the most uniquely surreal and bizarre experience I have ever had...


I've only had a few minutes to reflect. I'm lying here at 2 in the morning. I never thought I'd get any sleep tonight but obviously I must have been asleep although I was intensely conscious through the experience. The last thing I did was take a small dose of olive leaf extract before making my first effort to really have a go at going to sleep. Hesitant to say I've never had this happen before because in fact very specific aspects struck a very deep metacognitive chord. This however, THIS was the most intense version of that 10 fold.
I'm just lying here....... no maybe I'm day-dreaming a little.... well I'm very settled I suppose I must be ready to drop of pretty soon. How completely odd, I thought. I can feel a pressure, a very noticeable pressure. It’s of somebodies hands. Pushing in to my back, I feel knuckles but mostly a set of thumbs and whoever it is, I'm thinking, must have made it in through the open window and has decided to give me a back massage. I'm in a room with 2 Germans. The tall lanky one suffering premature hairless hates me for no known reason, he's just German and weird. Possibly jellous of my Leo Cap hair, despite the good news about those mice. It doesn't feel like he's trying to kill me and how probably is it that his girlfriend from across the room has decided to make a move directly underneath him on the top bunk.
I decided against opening my eyes straight away. I can't move, there's a lot of weight and somebodies knees digging in to my back. I can't work out what the fuck is going on because nothing about it makes the slightest bit of sence. Whatever's happening i have the impression that this person is female, its the way she keeps touching my hands. Its dark I can't see who it is.... I think.. I mean I think its a woman... but I can't see anyone. NOBODY IS THERE!! And THAT is when I truly froze with disbelief!! This entity is continuing to put its hands all over me in a very controlling, purposeful yet strangley gentle way, but I look up to see nothing but an open window. Now I'm awake she knows that I know and she's screwing with me and having fun (metaphorically).
OMG. It’s happening again!! I never seem to remember past occurrence’s until I'm reminded once more. There’s nobody there, I know there’s no-one but often when I'm asleep I'm sliding across the sheets horizontally. It’s as if I'm being dragged but no force is being applied. I'm moving feet first across to the bottom of my bed feeling and hearing every fiber against my stomach. I hear the shhhhh sound. It’s happened many nights before, I'm not always dragged sometimes it’s just what’s happening now. As my moving ceased my feet are being pulled upwards. This time I responded and as I felt myself born upright on to my feet I think to wake others for help. My voice is working; I can hear myself crystal clear. Every sense is working perfectly, I must be sleep walking of course but I don't know where I am and I'm being chased "I think I'm asleep please wake me up I'm going to hurt myself, I can't see where I am" I hear no reply from either of the Germans. I'm Willy Lopez being tormented by a vengeful Sam from Ghost. My location has changed and I’m running around in the dark until I run in to something. I FELT REAL PAIN!! BANG!! Straight on the forehead. It’s a pole of some kind. I heard someone call back and I see a stranger "Please help, I don't know what’s going on but I'm sick or something or sleepwalking and someone is chasing me!!" I grab her hand and regained consciousness shortly after safe in my own bed. I don't know what’s causing it but I really felt and often feel this and on waking I couldn't decide if I really am being dragged. Maybe my consciousness slipped in to a quantum world where I've asked my girlfriend to make things kinky!! Maybe it’s just how my brain shuts down before full sleep. Anyway I'll try some more of that olive leaf extract before I return to sleep. THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!!