The last few months have been very trying. I seriously hate it here. My soul has had a for sale sign for a long long time now. A career in aviation and a one way ticket back to Europe for one soul. Hardly ever used.
I tried for meaning. I got a car and a place to live. The car is pretty cool. On the way back from Mount Tamborine, I shared it with a hitchhiker. The only other person I shared it with was someone who wanted me to loan him money for heroin. This guy called Lois in my English class from Chile. I impressed him with my mastery of the Spanish language. He wanted me to skip class and give him a lift. I hadn't spoken to him that much so I asked him. "Por que es muy importante para ti salir de aqui a hora mismo?" I understood his response as he had to go to court. He was begging his girlfreind on his phone not to leave him. Kept asking me about my financial situation and what days did I get paid my student benefits. "Do you do drugs?"
"Why, are you dealing?" He gave me some Valium, interesting for sure, might get that on prescription for exam nerves. Turns out the point of the journey was to meet some guy to buy heroin. He told me his father was dead and he was due some money and could I lone him a couple of hundred dollars. I said no. Probably a lie he talked of meeting his father later on. I was off my face on Valium and he was shooting up. I played the VU song and I was like "Huh? Huh?" He wasn't impressed. He wants to house hunt with me. I could become fluent in Spanish though he'd probably steal from me for drugs. As soon as he sat down next to me I instinctively thought "Predator, User"
I had moved in originally with friends of my family and they had offered to host me as a favor. Still made me pay rent. I'm used to squalor now, I gave up trying to find somewhere nice. Th dogs there kept crapping on my bed. Crap all through the garden. After a month and a half of emailing people on Craigslist in my spare time and getting fucking nowhere and having to move back when those fuckheads set fire to the toad, they began hinting that it was time for me to move on. I thought I got a break when I moved in with this guy.
Uncanny or what?
As soon as I brought it up he said yes yes I get that all the time. A female freind of his had him dress up as the character he plays in rocky horror for a fancy dress party. I would have paid money!! I was blown away completely. He was a bit anal, being an arse I thought, don't need to be told to stay out of other peoples bedrooms and stuff. When I took the picture above he was a bit put off. "What are you doing?" I'm taking a picture so I can send it to people who don't believe my landlord is Tim Curries exact double. I was trying to be affable but he didn't warm up to me at all. I was trying hard not to be nervous a lot and then I shouted "Fuuuck" and when I explained he said "Oh is that a real condition? I thought they made it up in Deuce Bigalow. You didn't tell me about that in your 'reseme' ". He was really suspicious and he would lay traps to stop you going through his mail. This girl who lived there seemed to be kinda close to him. I found that kinda creepy. A young girl going out with Tim Curry of all people who just happens to have all this money. I cooked for everyone and made this really nice seafood and white wine sauce spaghetti pasta. "Anyone wanna finish this wine?" I sat down with them while drinking the rest of the wine "Oh its uncanny!! Wheres my iPhone!!" I don't really remember much detail after that. I respectfully said goodnight I went upstairs in the lounge area and had a nap on the couch.......I wouldn't call it passing out. I woke up on my inflatable Lilo (The room wasn't furnished and I hadn't yet bought a bed) Well thats fucking weird, I thought I don't quite know how I ended up here!! On my way back from the bathroom there's a not on my door. "Call Giles" (Tim Curry) He probably wants to know my full name or something for the contract.
"Hey Giles can I errghh help?"
"Yeah I need to talk to you about last night. About you coming in to my room?"I didn't have opportunity to respond I wasn't sure I heard him. My subconscious was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't remember what. Do I remember this? I asked myself. I think I might have opened a door by mistake no no that was the bathroom door... that was yesterday or something..... I thought I had a dream where.... "I talked to you about the ground rules...yada yada" I kinda remembered it but I wasn't sure but he made out I had gone in his bedroom. I remember being out on the balcony in the middle of the night and there were 2 sliding doors and I accidentally opened his by mistake instead of the one that goes to the lounge. Arsehole asked me to leave!!
All in all nothing positive has happened, I'm doing reasonably well academically getting credit level in most things. I want recognition for prior learning and a diploma in Spanish, It seems I'm well on course for University. I study most days and I'm mostly by myself and its killing me, its a terrible and senseless nightmare I never seem to be able to wake from. I wanna feel close to people but I keep getting screwed over. I'm fearful of loosing more time and opportunity to grow and be me, without loneliness and loosing trust in people who can be incredibly fuck-headed at times. I wanna be happy and feel alive and at peace with the world and its frightening to always be under water permanently when all you wanna do is breathe the air. To be young has to mean something.
That weekend I was very distraught, my nerves were very bad and I was driving around figuring out what I should do. I had a test coming up and I had no chance to be able to study for it at all. I finally decided to visit my parents friends hoping my "Auntie Tina" would hug me and everyone would rally around and nurture me. I turned up acting kinda strange and not making much sense, I was worried I was imposing and I was over reacting to everything. I got on Craigslist and called my Dad for moral support. I stayed the night and had arranged to find some temporary accommodation and was to meet some people at an address in the morning. There's a computer you can use and wifi, your room has its own desk. Fuck my soul I thought, its temporary and I can search for an ideal later.
In the morning I drove to this incredibly dreary suburb, a place that summises everything I loath about Australia, I can't imagine why anyone would want to waste a moment of there lives here, to be proud and excited about a 2 fucking billion $ tunnel so that people can get from one subway sandwich shop to another without going over the river. What an uninspiring wasteland, a sterile promontory of shopping centers, roads and eucalyptus trees. Populated by hillbillies. Let me introduce you!!
This is Colin, 50+
Colin is a man of the theater, and somewhere around will be his cat "Audrey Hepburn" also referred to as "you little rat bag!!" or more commonly "My love child"
.
Colin takes great pride in his fund-raising activities for charity mainly designing costumes and performing in Drag.
He is sitting here with Jean, a woman whose life he once saved...I forget the story. Jean is a telegram fairy whose passions include, collecting frogs, knitting, sewing and baking to name a few
Colin is a man of the theater, and somewhere around will be his cat "Audrey Hepburn" also referred to as "you little rat bag!!" or more commonly "My love child"
.
Colin takes great pride in his fund-raising activities for charity mainly designing costumes and performing in Drag.
He is sitting here with Jean, a woman whose life he once saved...I forget the story. Jean is a telegram fairy whose passions include, collecting frogs, knitting, sewing and baking to name a few
Yes here is Collin preparing for his Easter gathering. I helped blow up lots of balloons, he threw the house out of the window as the Colombians say. It was very good and I was a little worried I was gonna be the party Pinata.......that all his male friends would hit on me being the eye candy that I am. I tried talking to some people, but I quickly lost interest especially with one couple, they said they were making plans to move permanently to New Zealand. They weren't old or anything. They were both relatively young. Yes yes its very nice with the mountains and endless nothingness. Try a couple 100 Km west there's fuck all there too!! I have all of Europe to choose from, fucking Amsterdam and Rome, and all the beautiful Spanish cities and towns and Italy and color and architecture and you morons wanna live in New Zealand? I call it the House of Ennui because they're all very dark really, tragic lives and wasted souls.
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