my last post was when I was high it was a joke of some kind hmmmm.....

SO my sister has hit the big time she's rolling in 2and a half k. SHe spends her time now in cafes chatting casually away with mr beans dentist!! She's got richard wilson to do fucking pilates I swear I'm not making this up. So yeah she got herself a gig doing a cellphone ad. See these clips!!

For Gill..I put a squirrell in this also for no reason.

I found this suposidly great ending from the wonder years.......but don't take any weird meaning from it. Not that I'm being defensive or over-compensating. I mean someone who was being that way would just go on and on making a big deal out of nothing, it is after all just a video that I found browsing mindlessly. Ooooooh look a squirrell!! There like furry little people....

Spooky Black Cat

Eddie is the name of our cat and he has an arch-enemisis whatever its called. This horrible vicous black cat.... and its a vile bully to Eddie....thats why this is so strange becaues we squirt water at it and run after it all the time. I was having a nap on my mums bed and Eddie is resting on top of me and I hear this meowing and this black cat has somehow made it in our house and climbed the stairs. It jumps up on the window sill walks out on to the small window ledge. I get up to look out the window and the little fucker by magic apparently is at the bottom of the garden making its way over the fence. I STILL CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW IT MANAGED IT!!

I've been a moron.......again!!

Oh I can't beleive how I could have been so stupid. I feel really bad arghhhhh help me I want to curl up on the floor I'm cringing so much. I had to go to this god awfull place called Wakefield for a "speed awareness course" It was instead of a speeding ticket. I was very safe driving all the way there and everything going slow I was in no rush. The universe hates me more than I do for my moronic stupidity. I took the wrong turning at a roundabout and then I look and I find out that I'm low on petrol. I thought I was doing the right thing by pulling up on the hard shoulder to get my sat nav working again and find the nearest petrol station because it would be dangerous to be on the motorway if I could run out of petrol anytime. My herb grinder was on the passenger seat, then this big long streak of piss/bacon knocks on my window!! My heart sank. I thought it was an emergency situation thats why I stopped. I'm in the back of the police car and I was very calm I explained my position. I'm about to get back in the car and the police follow me to help with directions after fining me!! "Have you been smoking?" Back in the police car handcuffs on.......I've just got back now. From what my solicitor says I think its more or less gonna be a positive outcome.... the skin of my teeth and some fucking serious yang to go with the ying with there entire computer sytem not working, they couldn't get any records and it seems thats the reason they've dropped the possesion charge for a caution instead. I have to wait for a blood test. I had to do that whole steve martin act with the fingers on the nose and I failed it not that there was fuck all wrong with me but it was a communication error and I find myself arguing about there instructions because there were so pedantic about it and I wanted them to clarify and stuff. I have to go back in October to see if I passed the blood test. Theres a benchmark and if it is just the universe kicking my ass I might be lucky and be within the mark. Do you know more about India yet? I want to tour Asia in general, no idea yet. Is all good with you?